People with terrible parents can be cheerful because they think of the good, and leave behind the bad.
Not many of us are able to do that. Because most of the time, we chose the easy way out without realising that we are actually escaping from reality. Sometimes, in order to deny our escaping, we draw a list of excuses to support, or convince our action. What we aren't aware of is that in this situation, acknowledgment is usually the easiest course of action.
I am speaking not as a person who has already been through the cycle, but a person who is going through the cycle. This should not become the conclusion I have drawn from the cycle, but a mere opinion of me trying to be aware of what I am doing at this moment. Right now, I am still in the stage of choosing the easy way out to solve a problem.
It isn't anyone's fault that they are choosing what is easy. That decision comes without you being actually aware of it, which is very unfair because unless you have a sky high level of self-consciousness, if not most of the time, you will fall right into the trap, until some point in time when your self-awareness snaps and you realised what you have been doing.
I have a mother who is allegedly up to no good outside the four walls of the house. To that, I have made no attempt to dig into the matter. Instead, I have chosen to close both my eyes and ears and avoid hearing anything below unpleasantry. This is the method I have chosen to make sure the best image of my mum is preserved.
In short, I am just afraid that if I were to hear what my mum has been doing all this while, all these negativity would get to me and make me forget the love and tenderness she has showered. I would return to treating her like a wretched outcast who nobody cares to sympathise.
I am still in the stage of escaping from reality. But I don't deny that I am running away, I have come to terms with the escape. My next step forward should be to stop running away, understand what my mum did and try hard to protect that positive image from being robbed away by the less than glorious images.
