I hate that life is choked up with choices to make. To a person who has no slightest idea what she wants to do in the future, choices are usually the last thing she would want to make for herself. At least for me, it is.

This semester, however, I have no regret choosing my areas of study. Not before a casual remark from my lecturer threatened my judgement. I still enjoy what I've been doing. But whenever I looked back and reflected the choices I have adamantly made to myself in the name of interest,  I can't help but wonder, have I really chosen the right modules to study?

These modules are what were impliedly categorised as "light modules", a term I didn't even know existed until semester started. As much as I was concern, I chose my modules simply based on the direction my heart led me. In all honesty, that was the only factor I considered as I was ranking my modules. It's just so coincidental that my modules are known to be "light".

I'm certain I'll not be a journalist, I'm also equally (...maybe less) sure that I'll never make a career in acting, hosting, or anything that garners mass attention. So why Acting and Media Presentation? These are two areas I'm keen to explore. I have a taste of the two pies back in secondary school, and I was not prepared for those days to be my last. So I'm here, determine to discover other sides of me, whether physically, or mentally.

It took me no time at all to realise how good my other classmates are in all three modules. I can act, but others are better. I can speak, but others are better. I can write, but others are always better. My ego cruelly flattened, my confident downward spirals.

I have lived 19 years carefully scrutinising how other people regard me. I have only this semester to break the barrel and overcome this.

한국여행 리비유

After several years of anticipation, my dream to travel South Korea has finally come true. And in a blink of an eye, 14 days flew and reality dawned. Next thing, here I am, writing my review.

To sum up my personal reflection of Korea in one sentence: I was not in love with Korea as much as I imagined I was.

Personally, I must say that Korea as a country, has been so overly exaggerated from the almost guerilla-like advertising that it hardly gives people any accurate imagery of the Korean way of life. Years of longing to visit Korea has fueled in me a high expectation. Imagine how I felt when I reached the airport at 11pm with almost 90% of the shops and restaurants closed, and the entire departure floor has no one but the stillness of the air. Of course, my first thought was to immediately correct my assumption that all airports in the world operate 24 hours all year round.

The Korean living condition is one of the first few things that caught my attention. Simply because they were the exact opposite of the mental image I have of a first world country. I guess this is one of the many defects from staying in Singapore - You start to expect all first world countries to have proper walking pavements and clean roads, which, as proven, is not always the case when a country is many times bigger than our little red dot. This is also one of the reasons why I prefer local apartments to hotels while traveling, you're immediately immersed into their culture without even trying to. :)

This is the apartment building that we stayed in Seoul. Excellent apartment, excellent facilities, excellent location, excellent host. I would highly recommend this place to anyone planning to visit Seoul. Click on the image for more pictures of the apartment.

Despite all the spiciness and broody red chili sauce oozing from the plate, I really love Korean food.
One thing with their food is the overdose of 김치 (Kim Chi) as a side dish for every meal. Typical foreigners would have gotten sick and tired of 김치 by the end of the trip. But I only craved for more after returning to Singapore. I don't, however, crave for all kinds of 김치. There is this particular type that was served by our host on our last home stay. It was awfully sweet and sour, so strong was the sourness that I almost had to force it down my throat. Out of manners, we had them for our first two days, but on the third day, we decided to just leave it locked in a glass.

Compared to Singapore, food in Korea is slightly pricer, but bigger in portion, with the company of different types of side dish. Almost everyday, we would leave the restaurant with bloated stomachs. So huge were their servings that we only had one meal each day, survived with the abundance of street food around the tourist sites.

It was a pity that we did not explore the Hallasan Mountain while on our 3 days quest in Jeju island. Nevertheless, we were able to make full use of the days with many exciting activities like taking submarines, riding on Jeju Jet and visiting the Jeju Folk Village (Inspired after watching Tamna, The Island!)

One of the most exhilarating activities we did in Jeju island, Seogwipo City. It could have been a perfect day had I not lost my camera here. :(  

Transport in Jeju island isn't very convenient for tourists, as they only offer two modes of transport - bus or taxi. Good for us that the taxi rate isn't as high as in Singapore, since we took taxi to almost all the places.

The one wild animal that you will probably not see in Jeju Island is dog. They are either caged, or cooked into meals. Yes, Jeju Island...or more specifically, the Seogwipo city, actually sells dog-meat based soup. From another point of view, Jeju island may be the heaven for tourists, but is definitely a place of hell for our cute little tail-waggers. Even when we get to see the dogs caged, they possess this direct gaze that tells you very strongly how unhappy they are in the island. They could be dogs half of our size, but a gut twice as small as ours. We could only imagine the kind of indescribably hard life they are leading.

In Seoul, the most convenient transport for tourists is no doubt, the subway! Despite the messy looking subway map, once you identify where you are, where you are heading to, it is actually quite an easy feat to plan your journey. We tried taking the buses, but each time we did, we had to consult the locals first before proceeding. There are bus maps at the bus stops, but there is just always a chance that something might go wrong and we would end up in some dark, unexplored alleys of Seoul.

Shopping in Seoul is truly a heavenly experience. Not only can you get a t-shirt at $5, there is just so much varieties of that Korean fashion street has to offer that you probably won't be able to find two stores selling the same design of clothes. I am not even exaggerating.

Dongdaemun may not be as cheap as other shopping streets, but I still agree that it is a shopping paradise. There are 7 levels in the building we went into, and neither of these levels sell the same item twice. Every level has something different to sell. We find ourselves stopping at every floors looking at things from left to right, from top to bottom. Basically the entire building is bombarded with things, things, and more things. Shopping can easily become an addiction and honestly, it can turn a little difficult to control your spending.

The one and only of department that we went in Dongdaemun, is a waste, but we actually spent a great deal of money here. Imagine that!

Despite the slightly extreme weather disparity, I love Seoul's weather than Singapore's. The afternoon sun is not the least bit my favourite, but the evening breeze is to my absolute liking. There is just this one recurring thought that kept popping up in my head whenever the temperature dips, "We would be thanking all gods of the world if the temperature goes 27 degree in Singapore, but look, it's easily a 20 degree here!"

Very unfortunately (and surprisingly), the Incheon airport was the worst experience. I had such unbearable memory of the place that seeing their advertisement about Incheon airport being the world's best airport actually aggravated me to an extent that even I can't imagine. I wouldn't know about their service, since most of the shops and restaurants close around 10pm. But I can quite guess that theirs is definitely many levels better than Singapore's, or even any other countries. I mean, if their service is crappy, then I have really no idea what is that important factor that made them the "best airport".

The thing that really bothered me is, what kind of airport has their shops close at 10pm, and by 12am, lights off at the entire departure floor? Could it be just me living in Singapore for too long that I'm starting to have the impression that all airports are opened 24 hours? In any case, the next time I visit Korea, which I definitely will, I wouldn't even bother spending another minute walking around the airport, unless absolutely necessary, or to visit their duty-free stores.

Practice Makes Perfect

People with terrible parents can be cheerful because they think of the good, and leave behind the bad.

Not many of us are able to do that. Because most of the time, we chose the easy way out without realising that we are actually escaping from reality. Sometimes, in order to deny our escaping, we draw a list of excuses to support, or convince our action. What we aren't aware of is that in this situation, acknowledgment is usually the easiest course of action.

I am speaking not as a person who has already been through the cycle, but a person who is going through the cycle. This should not become the conclusion I have drawn from the cycle, but a mere opinion of me trying to be aware of what I am doing at this moment. Right now, I am still in the stage of choosing the easy way out to solve a problem.

It isn't anyone's fault that they are choosing what is easy. That decision comes without you being actually aware of it, which is very unfair because unless you have a sky high level of self-consciousness, if not most of the time, you will fall right into the trap, until some point in time when your self-awareness snaps and you realised what you have been doing.

I have a mother who is allegedly up to no good outside the four walls of the house. To that, I have made no attempt to dig into the matter. Instead, I have chosen to close both my eyes and ears and avoid hearing anything below unpleasantry. This is the method I have chosen to make sure the best image of my mum is preserved.

In short, I am just afraid that if I were to hear what my mum has been doing all this while, all these negativity would get to me and make me forget the love and tenderness she has showered. I would return to treating her like a wretched outcast who nobody cares to sympathise.

I am still in the stage of escaping from reality. But I don't deny that I am running away, I have come to terms with the escape. My next step forward should be to stop running away, understand what my mum did and try hard to protect that positive image from being robbed away by the less than glorious images.

Hannibal

I am pleasantly surprised to realise that Hannibal is my first english TV series in my 19 years. I'm much of a romance person, but this horror, thrilling, and criminalistic TV series captivated me and even made it to my firsts list. That was unexpected, and definitely unpredictable.

Hannibal is based on the novel, Red Dragon by Thomas Harris. Apart from the characters, the story is a little bit different from the novel itself. This adaptation focuses on exploring the early relationship of the Head of Behavioral Science Jack Crawford, a gifted profiler who is able to enter the minds of the killers, Will Graham, and a renown psychiatrist, and an acute, cannibalistic serial killer, Dr. Hannibal Lecter.

Red Dragon is the first novel among its trilogy, The Silence of The Lamb and Hannibal. A prequel of the novels, Hannibal Rising puts Hannibal as the main character and tells the turns of events that has moulded Hannibal to become a serial killer.

Coming back to the TV adaptation, I have to say I didn't catch what they were saying most of the time, especially with the incomprehensible accent that Mads Mikkelsen uniquely possesses. I had the hardest time figuring out what he was saying compared to the other characters. It would be, in my opinion, an added asset to understand the story deeper if I have read the story before watching the series. But to that, i have to say that the second screen app has been a great tool in terms of bridging the story, and giving backgrounds to the novels.

As of now, no Kinokuniya outlet has stocks for the novels. A disappointment beyond belief. Unless of course the staff is keeping it away from me for whatever reason, or it's high probability that the books are not available for purchase.

I'm just glad there is this thing called "Torrent" because Singapore is two episodes behind NBC. With that, I should try to impart as little information as i can. Lest a spoiler :P

On the side note, I can truly understand how difficult ratings can be achieved. With all the information easily accessible on the internet, it's a wonder how a channel, or a show is able to maintain a continuously high viewers, and ratings. It is even astonishing that people stil turn on the television. I have been told many times in lectures and in books, the power of the internet, but i never understood how overwhelmingly poignant it is until i became the user.

Among the casts, it was clear right from the beginning that Mads Mikkelsen is the man for "Hannibal". The first time i clapped eyes upon the advertising poster, the feeling comes to me that "Hannibal" was tailor made for Mads Mikkelsen. It should be noted that this TV series has an elegant feel to it that is slightly different from the other Hannibal films. So, I would assume that the treatment of the show could have been an important factor that made Mickkelsen stood out from the rest.

However, as much as he was brilliant in the show, the one person that has me foraging for his other works is Hugh Dancy, who played Will Graham. Watch out for his acting in episode 11, Roti. He had me believing that he has really gone mad in that episode. I would say his best acting thus far from all the episodes. :D

It is still a mystery how I became magnetically attracted to him. I did end up watching his movie, "Hysteria", a romantic comedy based on the true story of the eventual invention of the sex toy which is known presently as vibrators.

Johnny Depp

I love all his quirky roles in the movies with Tim Burton. He built himself a unique identity in the filming industry that no one would be able to exact a replica of him without lacking something. I haven't indulged myself with all his movies with Burton, but have only seen 5 out of the 8 movies they have made - all of it had Depp dressed in the most peculiar manner, but each clearly reflected the personalities of the characters.

One of my favourites, and also among the first to turn my attention to Depp, is "Sweeney Todd - The Demon Barber of Fleet Street"

This movie was a 2007 musical film starring Johnny Depp opposite Helena Bonham Carter. This film did not receive high acclamation from the Singapore theaters. However, it was prized the Golden Globe Award for Best Motion Picture - or Comedy and receiving soaring commendations from the critics.

This film is about a skilled, vengeful barber returning to London to seek his revenge after being exiled for 15 years for a crime he never committed. The brutal killings and blood spurting scenes earned the film an M18 rating in Singapore.

In the movie, Depp starred as "Sweeney Todd". Covered with torn, tattered clothing, and surrounded with the deep, almost charred circles around the soulless eyes, Todd is easily comprehensible as a person of bottomless darkness.

The other 4 movies which I totally love are:

Alice in The Wonderland

Charlie and The Chocolate Factory 

Dark Shadows

Edward Scissorhands

In all these movies, it takes merely a glimpse of the body language to identify Depp's role (...Maybe except Edward Scissorhands). That was also the main factor that got me to recognise him as "Willy Wonka". Before that, I never knew Depp was Wonka, I just loved the almost singing voice whenever he spoke, and the very elegant and yet, in every manner, strange behaviour of the talented chocolatier he portrayed. I would say, it has, in all aspect, surpassed the 1971 musical film, "Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory", starring Gene Wilder as "Willy Wonka". Johnny Depp has brought the character on a different level.

I think of Helena Bonham Carter when I think of Johnny Depp (apart form Harry Potter). They have the most wondrous chemistry ever. Strangely enough, despite the multiple collaborations, none of the films ever showed the pair as couples. At the most is just the unrequited one-sided love. To make things even weirder, I had never once imagined Depp and Carter as couples. They are far too great to be working partners than couples. :D

The Ban Country

Singapore's latest effort to reduce the number of smokers in Singapore is to ban more places for smoking. Is this the only kind of measures Singapore can come up with to decrease the number of smokers? Has this solution proven to yield drastic decrease in the number of smokers the first time we implemented it? If it is, then good for us. But banning is not a long term solution, if it has not been very obvious to us yet. If it isn't, then to what purpose are we still implementing this even though the previous experience already showed us the result?

Personally, I don't believe that this solution is anywhere effective. simply because it doesn't tackle the root cause of why people smokes.

I am not a big fan of cigarettes because they stink, and I have tried convincing my dad to quit smoking. But he always left me speechless just by the backing of this one reason that i have yet to know a rebuttal for, and seems like the Health Promotion Board hasn't addressed it either. That is, smoking is the only recreation that he can depend on to relieve stress. Oh yeah oh yeah, my first response was of course, the standard answer, there are always other ways of relieving stress, not necessarily smoking right? But think about it, a packet of cigarettes may be expensive, but it is the quickest solution to relief stress! Other activities like reading, bowling, sports etc etc etc. that you can think of are either time consuming, or expensive activities. Of course, I'm not referring to all of us here, just specifically lower income groups who usually work 10 or more hours everyday. Long hours and low pay, surely Singapore doesn't think this standard reasoning that our citizens have been fed upon is able to convince this group of people?

To me, this sounds like a root cause for smoking. It's basic human needs - Work hard, play hard? You work too hard and play too soft , you find yourself sinking into depression. But playing can be expensive and time consuming in Singapore, so it only natural that smoking comes to as the solution! So now, the task here is just to provide an alternative for these people to engage in rather than passing laws for ban ban and more bans.

Speaking about bans, i mentioned that it is definitely not a long term solution. Enforcing more bans encourages people to be more creative in importing illegal cigarettes to Singapore, a good practice used in a skewed manner. Increase in illegal cigarettes means tighter control. Tighter control means more laws are passed down, more laws means limited freedom. Limited freedom means we should start to feel ashamed for calling ourselves a "democratic" country when we are being binded everywhere we go. So why come down hard on citizens when you only yield so little result?

The Korea Crisis

It's fascinating how we are living history. Especially now with the Koreas on the verge of war.  Sometimes I stop to think what would history write of this event 50 years from now? For now, we just fill ourselves with questions. Will there be another Korean War II? What would be the outcome of this war? Will this war finally leads to reunification? What would happen to Korea's economy? However, these questions will go unanswered until a decade later.

Korean unification is imminent. Whether it would happen in this crisis, or later in the future, is not up to us to decide. But I firmly believe the merge would come hopefully sooner rather than later. It could be during Kim Jong Un's reign, or maybe his son, or someone in North Korea. It could be possible that there is already plans to overthrow the Kim's family 100+ of power right within North Korea itself!

But still, it would have been nice to visit North Korea before the merge. After all, it is where the last traces of the 1940's lives is, and it must have been an eye-opener experience to see the propagandas and the drastically different lifestyle of North Koreans. Even their dressing is the 1940's style!

Now that China has announced a nay for North Korea's threatening actions to USA and South Korea, it seems highly unlikely that there will be a Korean War II. After all, North Korea can only be this strong. With only itself to enter the war is like saying to send the entire country into ruins.

It's a pity North Korea still believes in the 1940s' way of thinking - war solves everything. I don't need to be a know-it-all to know all these missile launches are plain stupidity. Do you even have enough food to feed your people before you start with all the nuclear threats? Can you be 100% sure that your citizens have a place for shelter before you decide to lunge into all these missile testing? Are your people receiving the proper education for them to survive? Or wait...North Korea feeds its citizens knowledge of ignorance, so that doesn't really matters...  Nevertheless, the basics aren't even there, so what's with you showing off your "highly advanced" nuclear technology?

So if we want to have an idea of how people think back in the 1940s, look at North Korea.